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Eighteen "Do Nots" For Your Next Job Interview
Also: Get
a Job Offer From Every Interview, Job
Interview Preparation - What Employers Are Looking For,
Ten
Tips to a Job Winning Interview
In my career I’ve had plenty of job
interviews, probably fifty. And I have to admit
that my get-an-offer percentage is maybe 95%;
not bad. On the flip side, I have interviewed
over a hundred candidates, hiring a number of
good people with few exceptions and only one a
probable serial killer (he apparently knew the
eighteen ‘Do Nots’).
I have asked it all, heard it all, answered
it all, and seen it all. It is from this wealth
of experience that I have culled eighteen must
‘Do Nots’ to share with you. You can thank me
later. Here they are:
1. Do not be late.
2. Do not put your feet on the desk.
3. Do not eat garlic 24 hours prior.
4. Do not have a flapping dried nostril
booger or a long protruding nose hair.
5. Do not have a stringer of spittle in the
corner of your mouth.
6. Do not shake hands if your palm is cold,
clammy and limp.
7. Do not wear sneakers unless they are brand
new.
8. Do not wear a lapel pin of any sort unless
it is the American or Mexican flag.
9. Do not ask about hours, salary, vacation,
pensions, insurance or anything else that might
be considered ... well ... not job related.
10. Do not say “bottom line” or “at the end
of the day” less than five times every five
minutes.
11. Do not quote Scripture or Seinfeld.
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12. Do not forget to “push back” at least
once on some safe topic (e.g., interviewer:
“Tell me about your last job.” Interviewee
response: “I need to push back. You seem
stupider than tar!”).
13. Do not use words like “mammy”, “pappy”,
“gedder done” or “irregardless” unless it’s for
a job at the Monster Truck rally.
14. Do not reach for your pocket flask unless
you are willing to share it with the interviewer
(which I highly encourage you do to break the
ice).
15. Do not divulge what sex positions you
like unless explicitly asked.
16. (Related to rule 15) Do not use the “C”
word under any circumstances, ever! “F”, “B” and
“S” words are okay but only if encouraged by the
interviewer.
17. Do not fall asleep.
18. Do not forget to leave when it’s over.
There you have it. Most of it common sense.
But you’d be surprised just how many people
forget. If you master these rules and don’t
forget to weasel word at every opportunity, you
too should find success at your next job
interview.
Happy job hunting.
Also: Get
a Job Offer From Every Interview, Job
Interview Preparation - What Employers Are Looking For,
Ten
Tips to a Job Winning Interview
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Job-Interview-Advice.net
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This article was written by
humorist Robert Crane. For more the same and
plenty of other surprises, visit his popular
website:
http://www.cranelegs.com
Source:
Job-Interview-Advice.net
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